I Fought the Law and the Law Won

There isn’t much in common between my life in Washington, DC and my life in Portland, Me, except for the fact that I’m a marked man in both by parking enforcement.  The only difference between the two cities is that in Portland I know them on a first name basis.

“Hey Joe,”  I called.  “You can’t get me today.  I got one of the six residential parking spaces in the Old Port this time (which is a feat unto itself given that hundreds of people live in the Old Port).  Joe just smiled and thought to himself, “Maybe this time but I'll be watching you.”

One evening last year, my mom came to pick me up for dinner and saw Joe writing me a ticket on Milk Street.  She hailed Joe and said, “Is my son getting another ticket?”  Joe laughed as he introduced himself and said, “Tell your son to get down here quick, and he won’t be towed (thereby saving me $75).”  She called, I ran, and Joe thought to himself again, “Silly man - I told you I'd be watching.”

Double tickets!  

Here in DC, I could have bought a parking space with my condo for a mere $55,000 back in 2006 which is almost as much as I originally paid for the Maine pad.  Thinking this was a ridiculous price to pay, I told my realtor to break apart the space from the condo at closing and much to my disbelief, it sold for the $55,000 asking price, and the buyer paid cash!  I thought, “What an idiot!  That’s outrageous.  I’m the smart one!”

Well, the joke was on me apparently because 4 years later and I’ve probably racked up that much in parking tickets.  Hyperbole?  Maybe, but it’s starting to irritate me.

I now find myself in a constant game of cat and mouse seeing if I can stay one step ahead of parking enforcement and keep moving my red jeep to a new highly coveted secret location.  I’ve even been known to get up early just to move it to a new space with a note left behind that reads, “Ha Ha – fooled you again!”

Secret Location!

But alas – they always seem to track me down, and I’m tired of running.  Maybe it would help if I renewed my residential parking permit that expired back in the summer of 2010, but I digress.

So I’m waving the white flag.  I surrender.  Game over!  With what feels like the arrival of spring on this gorgeous DC morning, I’ve decided that on Monday, after one more park, move and hide episode, I am driving my jeep to the Capitol and leaving it there.  I shall join the masses and ride public transport.  I thought of the Ab Fab episode where Edina proclaims to her daughter that anyone can ride public transport to which her daughter curtly replies, “I know – that’s the point.”

Given the fact that the May 8^th Congressional Cemetery 5K is approaching, maybe I’ll even start running, er walking, the roughly 5K to and from work.    Until then, after I finish my coffee this morning, I need to walk the block to where my jeep is parked.  Perhaps I’ll be lucky, and there won’t be a $25 ticket.  Somehow I doubt it, but at least this will be the last one – that is in Washington anyway.  See you in Portland Joe in mid March!

I am sure I will be singing after that visit to Maine - I fought the law and law won!